My disgusting, awful, gross day-in-the-life nightmare

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Screams echo down the stairs with cries of
"it exploded" and "it's on his hands!!" added between breaths.
Right away I know who the "he" is.
It's #3, our resident 2 year old and king of all things rotten.
"He" is kindly escorted downstairs by a sour faced big sister who promptly let's me know
 "he poooooped!"
and oh boy did he ever
"I uh-splo-did" #3 grins with turd-bomb covered fingers
As I'm desperately trying to decide which surface in the nursery is easiest to disinfect, I also notice something else.
He's got it on his face
and his hands
and his legs
and his feet
and $&%* it's everywhere!!!

Now I'm just as good at keeping my calm as the next mom when it comes to the atrocities children excrete, but folks this was a whole new level of nightmare.

As I'm desperately scrubbing and pleading with him to "please start using the potty" I notice something else....this stuff isn't the same color.
The face mess is not the same as the stuff on his legs or feet?!
"did someone else poop on you??" I ask kind of hysterically
"eww no! Me eat choc-at, member?" giggles #3
Then I did.
 I remembered with blissful clarity that I had given them each a small handful of chocolate chips only a little bit ago.
Never in my life have I been so thankful for chocolate my friends. 



All images copyright: Amanda Abate